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I actually thought that ROURKE would be the lone bright spot on a film that is doomed from the start. He was going to play Conan's fathers, which really isn't important to begin with. In case you didn't know, I am Conan's father, yes me. Come to think of it, it is important. Conan is my son's middle name. Now in the proper spirit of things I fully protest the making of this film. It will be horrible. I plan to keep you updated on these pertinent notes. Now Ron Pearlman has been cast as me. Even my head isn't that enormous.